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erg...many, many muddy hands - breathing underwaterland

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September 8th, 2006


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08:43 am - erg...many, many muddy hands

muddy hands

whenever i get an image like this, that i crop:


muddy hands (2)

and then crop again,


muddy hands (3)


it's obvious that i don't have a perfect deal. well, I WANT A PERFECT DEAL. in fact, whenever i go out on a shoot, that is exactly what i'm looking for. i want something perfect -something that achieves its own sort of escape velocity. i am not a great lover of images that require neighbors for context. or of "small" pictures. of course, i have thousands of "small" gems: i have rubies and saphires and emeralds by the dozens. and i stash them in folders on my desktop. sometimes i just throw them out. why? because they're not diamonds.

a month ago when i got the acceptance from calyx, one of the images they chose was an image i have always loved, but don't consider "perfect". it's the image of the one-eyed woman holding the crow. they chose that image OVER one i think is perfect. it got me to thinking of this:

my perfect isn't your perfect.

small things are perfect in their own way; there is amazingness in non-perfection.


i tend to approach my entire life way i approach my artwork. i don't really allow for imperfection. i don't really allow for things like vacations. i want things done correctly right NOW...etc. in my race for the the perfect thing, i miss or squander piles of experiences that add depth and substance to life.

about the image i posted here, what i like about it is the light and the gesture. it doesn't look like a photo to me, but more like a painting. like a modern rendition of a caravaggio...at least in the treatment of the light relations.



I WILL BE 50 YEARS OLD TOMORROW.
:(
the magic moment when we become aware that there is more life lived than left.

(42 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:moonkop
Date:September 8th, 2006 04:55 pm (UTC)
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Happy BD tomorrow Smith :))) May you have many more like the last ones... and spend them in health and happiness. I really like the last photo on this page.... It would make a nice painting in the trend of the old masters.
One more thing please stop thinking about age in numbers, it really does not matter, what matters is your quality of life...... keep that safe!
[User Picture]
From:kat_manson
Date:September 8th, 2006 05:01 pm (UTC)
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i'm a little stuck on the numbers thing, corry. not because they change the texture of my life, but because i'm so scared of dying. :(
thanks for the birthday wishes!!

also, thanks for your vote on which image. i'm between the first and the last.
ttyl.
s

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