September 8th, 2006
|08:43 am - erg...many, many muddy hands|
whenever i get an image like this, that i crop:
muddy hands (2)
and then crop again,
muddy hands (3)
it's obvious that i don't have a perfect deal. well, I WANT A PERFECT DEAL. in fact, whenever i go out on a shoot, that is exactly what i'm looking for. i want something perfect -something that achieves its own sort of escape velocity. i am not a great lover of images that require neighbors for context. or of "small" pictures. of course, i have thousands of "small" gems: i have rubies and saphires and emeralds by the dozens. and i stash them in folders on my desktop. sometimes i just throw them out. why? because they're not diamonds.
a month ago when i got the acceptance from calyx, one of the images they chose was an image i have always loved, but don't consider "perfect". it's the image of the one-eyed woman holding the crow. they chose that image OVER one i think is perfect. it got me to thinking of this:
my perfect isn't your perfect.
small things are perfect in their own way; there is amazingness in non-perfection.
i tend to approach my entire life way i approach my artwork. i don't really allow for imperfection. i don't really allow for things like vacations. i want things done correctly right NOW...etc. in my race for the the perfect thing, i miss or squander piles of experiences that add depth and substance to life.
about the image i posted here, what i like about it is the light and the gesture. it doesn't look like a photo to me, but more like a painting. like a modern rendition of a caravaggio...at least in the treatment of the light relations.
I WILL BE 50 YEARS OLD TOMORROW.
the magic moment when we become aware that there is more life lived than left.
i just read your last post. it made me sad. and it made me realize something. i have always taken my health for granted.
ya'll take care of each other.
if you were in front of me right now, i could hug ya.
No, don´t be sad! Manolo has finally decided to do something about how bad he feels. I mean he was going to the gastro lady since last year but he got worse again over the summer so they really need to find a Plan B. We always took our health for granted, too, and this has been difficult. That´s the bad part.
Yeah, I´m worried and all those nasty what-ifs keep overloading my brain.
But at least he´s doing something positive about it!
I´d take those hugs if we were anywhere in your vicinity.