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erg...many, many muddy hands - breathing underwaterland

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September 8th, 2006

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08:43 am - erg...many, many muddy hands

muddy hands

whenever i get an image like this, that i crop:

muddy hands (2)

and then crop again,

muddy hands (3)

it's obvious that i don't have a perfect deal. well, I WANT A PERFECT DEAL. in fact, whenever i go out on a shoot, that is exactly what i'm looking for. i want something perfect -something that achieves its own sort of escape velocity. i am not a great lover of images that require neighbors for context. or of "small" pictures. of course, i have thousands of "small" gems: i have rubies and saphires and emeralds by the dozens. and i stash them in folders on my desktop. sometimes i just throw them out. why? because they're not diamonds.

a month ago when i got the acceptance from calyx, one of the images they chose was an image i have always loved, but don't consider "perfect". it's the image of the one-eyed woman holding the crow. they chose that image OVER one i think is perfect. it got me to thinking of this:

my perfect isn't your perfect.

small things are perfect in their own way; there is amazingness in non-perfection.

i tend to approach my entire life way i approach my artwork. i don't really allow for imperfection. i don't really allow for things like vacations. i want things done correctly right NOW...etc. in my race for the the perfect thing, i miss or squander piles of experiences that add depth and substance to life.

about the image i posted here, what i like about it is the light and the gesture. it doesn't look like a photo to me, but more like a painting. like a modern rendition of a caravaggio...at least in the treatment of the light relations.

the magic moment when we become aware that there is more life lived than left.

(42 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:September 9th, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
hiya, aubrey! man-o-man, my 30's were the best time of my life! i got sober when i was 30. it was like being born all fresh!

hey, is that you in the icon? YOU LOOK SO CUUUTE!! yup, i know you're a mom. i don't know how people do that; i've never had that instinct. sometimes i wonder what it would be like to have an adult daughter, but the diapers=thing and the "terrible twos" -i don't think so. :) i leave that up to you!!

thanks so much for your comments, aubrey! i'm glad we met.
[User Picture]
Date:September 9th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
it is me in the icon, thanks!
yeah, diapers are no fun, it is all the other good stuff that outweighs that sort of thing.
and i am glad we met too :)

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